Poor little Linda, the tiny, lithe viking princess. She came for some restrictive bondage play and I decided to conduct a science club experiment on her - “how painful is this new chili oil body rub I’ve just mixed”? Well, she never says that she thinks she going to die but she admitted afterwards that she thought it.

At the start it’s just warm and tingly. Next, it starts to burn. Finally, it makes you feel like you’re on fire. Milk slows it down briefly, but doesn’t stop it, so you just have to suffer until it’s done with you. For this tiny Viking girl, it took about three hours later. Her fair Scandinavian skin couldn’t just shrug off the burning agony of her treatment.

Fear not, sensitive viewer, Linda was fine in the end - glowing, even. She even said she thought my firey agony rub treatment ought to be marketed as a BDSM spa treatment…Hmmm…